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I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing, by Kyria Abrahams
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Raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, Kyria Abrahams’s childhood was haunted by the knowledge that her neighbors and schoolmates were doomed to die in an imminent fiery catastrophe; that Smurfs were evil; that just about anything you could buy at a yard sale was infested by demons; and that Ouija boards—even if they were manufactured by Parker Brothers—were portals to hell. .
When Kyria turned eighteen, she found herself married to a man she didn’t love, with adultery her only way out. “Disfellowshipped” and exiled from the only world she’d ever known, Kyria realized that the only people who could save her were the very sinners she had prayed would be smitten by God’s wrath. Written with scorching wit and deep compassion, I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed manages to be hilarious about the ironic absurdity of growing up believing that nothing matters because everything’s about to be destroyed..
- Sales Rank: #1300330 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Touchstone
- Published on: 2010-12-01
- Released on: 2010-12-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.00" w x 6.00" l, 1.12 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 352 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
From Publishers Weekly
When Abrahams was growing up, her world was neatly divided between those who would live forever in a paradise on earth and all the "worldly" people her Jehovah's Witness family prayed for. Her congregation forbade Christmas and Halloween, aggressively shunned anyone who left the fold and taught children that birthday parties were of the devil. For kicks in her early teens, Abrahams would go witnessing door-to-door with her pal Lisa, a die-hard J-Dub. This acerbic, witty memoir chronicles the first 23 years of Abraham's life with candor and a good dose of comedy. Unlike other memoirs written by the disenchanted, Abrahams musters some affection for her decent but screwed-up family, and even for the religion itself. Where the story hits a rough patch is in her account of her late teens and early 20s, when she dropped out of high school; rushed into a disastrous teen marriage; fell into alcohol, drugs and adultery; and finally "fired Jehovah as [her] personal bodyguard" and became an apostate divorcée. None of this is particularly funny, and Abrahams's tale of self-destruction ends abruptly enough that readers will wonder how she managed to pull herself together. (Mar. 3)
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From Booklist
*Starred Review* Given that Abrahams is now a stand-up comic and spoken-word poet, it makes perfect sense to begin her very funny memoir with her performance debut at the Pawtucket, Rhode Island, Kingdom Hall, at age 8 (her presentation was about freedom from demon possession). She describes the children’s books she read as a child as a cross between “Dr. Seuss rhymes and tales of how sinners would scream and gnash their teeth at Armageddon.” In her world, Smurfs were “little blue demons” and yard sales were enticements from Satan. As a bored teenager with OCD, she didn’t know what to do with herself or how to make sense of the world. On the verge of 18, she married a 24-year-old part-time college math teacher because, even if his interest in her was, at best, halfhearted, she wanted a boyfriend and didn’t know any other Jehovah’s Witnesses who liked her. Anyway, she reasons, “this is what adults did, and I was an adult.” It wasn’t long before she longed to be out of the marriage. Between threats of suicide, she tried to be “disfellowshipped,” or shunned, by her congregation, which proved surprisingly difficult to accomplish. Abrahams is a natural writer whose prose flows effortlessly as she easily mixes throwaway humor and painful memories in a compelling narrative. --June Sawyers
Review
"Kyria Abrahams, former teen bride of a doomsday cult and seeker of salvation in slam poetry, tells the terribly funny story of her improbable life with candor, wit, and an unsparing eye for the perfect detail. Brilliant." -- Janice Erlbaum, author of Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir
"The funniest book I've ever read by a disfellowshipped Jehovah's Witness from Pawtucket. Very funny. Very, very funny. Very, very, very funny." -- Janeane Garofalo
"Amazingly vivid and profoundly compelling. Twisted, touching, absurd, hilarious, and honest. A new kind of memoir." -- Wendy Spero, author of Microthrills
"Kyria Abrahams can do the 'coming-of-age in a sea of eternal hellfire' story like nobody else. Her tale of an adolescence in the ranks of the Jehovah's Witnesses is irresistible, thanks to her hilarious, sweet, and knowing narrator." -- Bob Powers, author of Happy Cruelty Day!
"Miraculous...hilarious....Simultaneously affectionate and aware, Kyria recounts a childhood and young womanhood that at once seems completely universal and breathtakingly bizarre." -- Adam Felber, author of Schrödinger's Ball and panelist on NPR's "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!"
"This acerbic, witty memoir chronicles the first 23 years of Abraham's life with candor and a good dose of comedy." -- Publishers Weekly
"A natural writer whose prose flows effortlessly as she easily mixes throwaway humor and painful memories in a compelling narrative." -- Booklist
"Undoubtedly the cleverest lapsed Jehovah's Witness yet, Abrahams offers a graphic, mordant, wickedly distaff take on her life." -- Kirkus
"Hilarious, raw, and touching...Abrahams emerged to write about her experience in an honest, funny, and somehow relatable way." -- The Comedians
"Abrahams provides readers with a profound anecdotal look of growing up as a Jehovah Witness" -- Harriet Klausner, Genre Go Round
Most helpful customer reviews
49 of 49 people found the following review helpful.
excellent, excellent book..
By lisa
this book made me deeply sad while at the same time deeply comforted..
unlike the author i wasn't raised from birth as a witness but i spent a little more than 20 years as one.. from about 14 to 35 years of age.. my expierence differs in some aspects but what is consistent in all former witness stories is that upon deciding you no longer want to remain a witness (regardless of your reason) you cease to exist to those you formerly called family.. poof! you're gone from their lives.. those who once loved you no longer speak to you.. you are cut off as if you had died.. except you havnt.. you are alive and well and maybe, just maybe, a better person.. but that doesn't matter..
as my aunt who raised me from 14 years of age said "it would be a compromise of my faith to continue to speak to you"..
if i returned to the fold all would be forgiven but barring that she could no longer have anything to do with me.. and she hasn't..
i cried with sadness and relief when i read the last paragraph of this book:
"these worldly, godless poets had loaned me money when i hadn't asked for it and had given me a place to stay.. when the people i had known for 23 years stopped talking to me, the people i had known for 23 days helped me move"
this was my expierence as well.. when my family completely turned away from me it was a "wordly family" who took me in.. they never asked where i came from or why i was alone in the world.. they just took me in and loved me as if i were one of them.. amazing..
the author does a beautiful job of laying bare her tormented soul while a witness and then the difficulties of trying to fit into a world she knows absolutely nothing about.. the real world.. its a mysterious place to those of us raised in a closeted society like J.W's.. i applaud those who despite not knowing how to live in the world take a leap of faith and jump anyway.. its terrifying and intimidating and overwhelming but the feeling of freedom, of being able to finally breathe is worth every scary moment.. as this author confirms you will find your way.. people will help you and there is good in this world..
47 of 48 people found the following review helpful.
A Hilarious Yet Sobering Look at Where Being a Jehovah's Witness Led The Author, and Her Life as an Apostate
By Rachel Kramer Bussel
Kyria Abrahams' I'm Perfect, Your Doomed, is a hilarious look at her youth as a Jehovah's Witness. With impeccable wit, she explores the precepts of the religion, as well as what her childhood was like immersed in it. At first, she doesn't question anything, and wants to obey every single rule because that's all she's known. It's clear from the first few chapters that part of being a Jehovah's Witness is about only associating with other Jehovah's Witnesses.
She takes us on a tour of the kinds of people she grew up with as part of her worship, seemingly full of eccentrics. Of one man, whom the congregation strongly suspected was gay, she writes, "We all know I'm sublimating my true sexuality, he seemed to be saying, so let's at least have a laugh about it. Also, I am dying inside." Sex, in fact, proves to be what ultimately gets her disfellowshipped; she has an affair, but when she tells her husband, he wants her to stay. She's young, alone, and has turned to cutting and alcoholism, neither a happy topic, but both she manages to use her humor to cut through what could be a very sad story. In this way, Abrahams manages to mock herself and her situation, while making for an engaging story. She winds up finding herself within the slam poetry scene, full of its own eccentrics, but of a different sort. The gap between her former life and her poetry one is powerful, and she makes it clear that she's struggling (not stumbling, the Jehovah's Witness term for causing someone to falter from their faith) with who she really is, outside the confines of what she's known her whole life.
Abrahams takes us inside her life as a Jehovah's Witness, from going door to door to recognizing, as she gets older, just how different she is from her peers. When she witness a birthday party, she's genuinely shocked that it is not the bacchanalia she's been prepared for. This and many other revelations cause her to slowly lose her grip on the religion. She doesn't portray it as a single catastrophic event, but a slow realization, via the Internet (remember AOL chat rooms?) and a stint in a mental hospital, that she is not happy and wants to try something new.
Some of her best lines have nothing to do with Jehovah's Witnesses; they're just plain funny. "I knew the snowsuit was embarrassing and almost always unnecessary, but it was like wearing a warm mug of cocoa over my entire body."
We don't quite get to find out how she came to be a comedian, but that's okay. Her glossary at the end offers more than enough humor (in fact, numerous laugh out loud moments). Feel free to read it first. Of "Field Service," the practice of preaching door-to-door, she writes, "Possessing a quiet reverence for creation and a personal sense of the divine, only without the quiet or personal part."
I would have liked to know what her current spiritual beliefs are and if she has any contact with her family (presumably not since she's been disfellowshipped), but she manages to end on a hopeful note, one that sees her starting life over. While I'm sure Jehovah's Witness who might read this (even though they're not supposed to) would find it potentially offensive, I don't think Abrahams' humor is meant to completely poke fun at her former religion. Rather, she knows it's an oddity amongst most Americans and yet was still involved with it for just over half her life.
36 of 39 people found the following review helpful.
Time to put on your big girl panties, Kyria...
By slharper
I purchased this book through my Kindle on the advice of my brother. My brother and I are both former JW's, so this book caught his eye, and then he suggested it to me. I should've borrowed the book from him instead of wasting money on it. Damn, I should've bought Anne Rice. Anywho, I started this book 100% on Kyria's side. Honestly, reading her book seemed like taking a page (several pages, actually) from my own diary. As others have noted, though, about halfway through I started to lose sympathy for her. There are plenty of things for which a JW upbringing can be blamed. Low self-esteem... yes! Insecurity... heck yes!! Feeling like you're a bad parent because you're not bringing your children up "in the truth"... Amen from the congregation on that one!!! However, a JW upbringing cannot be blamed for bad decisions. I think most women would agree, regardless of their religious background, that sleeping with your friend's boyfriend is not cool. Yet, Kyria's explanation of her bad decisions is that since she was told EVERYTHING was a sin, she has to see for herself what is ACTUALLY right or wrong. Um, girlfriend? Some of this stuff is just plain common sense and decency. As someone who was raised as a Witness, baptized as a Witness, disfellowshipped from the Witnesses, reinstated to the Witnesses, and has left yet again, I can still say that Kyria needs to put on her big girl panties and take responsibility for her actions. At some point, you are to blame for your problems, not your parents and not society. You know, it's kinda funny how she leaves Penn for the very same behavior she exhibits... blaming everyone but yourself for the problems in your life.
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